The Master’s wishes and desires are what you are there to please. You honor and respect him in all he says and does. You please and serve him and he guides and directs you along your way. It’s a two way street and a lot of hard work in witch communication on both sides is needed.

You must be willing to give of yourself completely to be open, honest, and direct about your limits, needs, and desires. Your Dom/Dome is not a mind reader so you must speak with them. Also keeping a subbie journal is a good way to help keep the lines of communication open. Write in it honestly and openly it’s not something that you can get into trouble for doing or saying in it. This is a tool and one that you can both use to help build your relationship.

For myself having rules gives me a structure that I need. This framework keeps me going and safe, happy and content all of the time. Receiving orders from my Master takes a lot of his time and energy, as it allows me to not just be doing the household chores. My Master says this is what I want or wish done it makes it somewhat sexual and serving. Not just doing. I am giving a sense of joy in completing things he has told me to do. Having him be firm and checking to make sure I did all I have been ordered to do, gives me a security and a joy in the security like no other. I thrive and enjoy serving it’s just no me doing things and tasks with no meaning. I hate feeling like the house slave never getting anything in return at all.

My Master has to communicate his desires in order to have me know them. Having him tell me his desires, also gives him the opportunity to see that I’m striving to serve and meet those desires. He needs to see and know that I’m making a conscious attempted to meet those desires. I want to please him and never just assume what his desires are. I think we have a mutual respect for each other, but this relationship needs and demands open communication at all times. Communication helps the Dom to keep his grip on you as you are in his control. I long for this and it’s what I’m striving for each and everyday.

I need a submissive power to serve and to be used when this does not happen I feel lost and confused and very much alone. I have an obligation to myself and my Master to lean about myself and to keep learning, as each day passes. I believe it’s my job to have honest relationships, read books and web sites that will keep me learning. I should seek experienced people to serve as mentor’s helping me grow and seek more knowledge, to help me grow. When you are seeking others to help you, well they should be willing to help and to guide you with out expecting favors (including sexual ones) from you. They might help you push your limits and force you to learn more about yourself to guide and help you along your journey.

When a sub gives there all to a Dom, well most always they get hurt. Dom’s say things and promise things and then when they don’t come around well the sub is crushed greatly with a hurt in their hearts that is deep. I think most Dom’s have good intentions but they do not realize the multitude of the job they are undertaking. Some just don’t want to put the time and effort into what a D/s relationship demands. This hurts the sub for they are or have been giving there all. Not having your needs meet when you serve your Dom hurts greatly you feel unloved, unwanted, and that you’re just not worth the time or the effort. Don’t think this way or put your self down, it’s not you with the problem. You need to open up and revalue your relationship, search your heart and see what you need to do. This is not always easy and in fact it can be down right hard. But its part of the two way street you meet and serve there needs they are to meet your needs in return. I know the truth hurts. Trust me I know this all to well and acting on it is hard you love your Master, but if your needs can not be meet they are not important to him, and thus you will not longer grow and serving will become a household chore. That is not being a submissive; it’s being a doormat. Most Doms do not want the difficulties or the hassles of controlling someone else that this relationship involves. And I am in no way saying that the first time of trouble means you walk away. I work hard and I try a lot of different things before I take action. In fact those that know me say I take way too much, but I have a commitment in this relationship and I do not take it lightly at all. I will exhaust all efforts before I walk away from my Master. It’s a fight worth fighting at times, but enough is enough. I do matter and I deserve to have my needs meet also. No Dom has the right to make you feel bad, it’s their job to work with you and allow you to be happy. For when you are happy and content you have more submissive power to serve with. If they were truly Dominates they would accept the demands and relish in the control that they would deal with any problems that would arise.

A D/s relationship is different from a vanilla one. This is an intense loving soul-searching and sharing goal orientated relationship. You need a Dom who can be strong, erotic, stern, and not afraid to see them cry and are caring, sometimes. These things are what I admire and need, they can’t be there if we are not honest with each other. Trust and bravery have to be a part of this D/s relationship for this allows open honest communication.

My joy in surrendering is that I don’t have to make all the decisions any longer. I have more then enough of that in my everyday life so it’s just an overwhelming aspect to give up control. It’s “please take over I want you to rule me”. Causing me to take or assume a submissive role is just delightful! It’s a spiritual experience. And a Dom should never be in a hurry at all. Time is just time, and they need to go slow and to make sure that you are okay with all that is going on inside your head as well outside it.

I love my collar and at times when we are working on redefining things the leash (even though I hate it), can be a delight. I hate having my hair pulled (you know when they just grab a handful on the back of your head), but it does get my attention fast. When we are in training and after some cuddling is grand, I never forget my role. To feel my Masters firm grip and to know he can be firm and strong when it is needed is wonderful in it’s self (even when I may hate what is or has done). It’s the reality that he does care enough and he will follow through and be consistent and firm when needed. It could be an orgasm all on it’s own (don’t forget to ask first J).

On-line relationships or cyberspace only teaches you that dominating and submission are easy and at times a lot of fun. It can’t teach you at all what you in for when you live in a real time D/s relationship be it 24/7 or otherwise. To actually dominate someone when they live with you requires a lot more then creating sexy fantasies. To become a dominant full-time requires a lot of hard work. The only way a submissive learns and becomes a good submissive is with extensive practice, by making mistakes and learning from them. D/s at times are hard grueling work. There is no other way to put it. Dominates will have to work hard to have a good submissive. It’s communication at all times and being consistent as well following through with what you say. Actions speak louder then words ever can. A submissive is a lot like a child in her Dominate hands then a Pet. So look at all the responsibility involved! WOW! A Dominate either learns from other Dominates or he learns through a lot of years of hard lesions.

A sub is like a child and think of all the work that can be. This is it’s daily tending to them and training them, making sure they get enough sleep, and that they have eaten. It’s looking into everything in there live and it’s a full-time job all on it’s own. They might not wish to tell you when they are not feeling well, because they are eager to serve and they do not want to let their Master down in anyway. A Dom needs to learn to read their sub well, to know when they don’t feel well, even if they say they are fine. Spending time and training the sub allows you to get to read her and how she responds to things, and this can be important at times.

Remember that you as a submissive do have rights, and this is a two way street. Look to be respected and demand it at all times. Good luck on your journey and if I am able to just help someone out there I have accomplished something good.

Please feel free to contact me at awhitecloud@awhitecloud.com i will do what i can to help anyone, and i would like to know what you A/all think also. Thank you for allowing me to share with you A/all.

Unpublished work © 2000 awhitecloud ® Published © 2000 awhitecloud ®

Copyright© The word "copyright" or the symbol "©" means that the work is protected by law against reproduction, redistribution or preparing derivative works. (A derivative work is one based on the copyrighted work of another where simple wording was changed but the main body of the work remained the same.)