I have many reasons for doing this at this time, and I have to do it for myself as for others that are out there. This is one of the hardest things I have done, but it is time.

I have many to thank for helping me get to this place in my life. And one I will never be able to thank the way I would like, to you will soon know who this person is. She has helped me to see that I must go on no matter what. My Master at this time, Master Doug, well thank you for hanging in there and for working slowly so that I could adjust slowly and grow once again.

I am active in the local community’s and those that know me know that I do not play in public, or at least to this point I have not. Well that will be changing slowly. I used to play actively and it was a lot of fun. Nevertheless, when other people at a party think it gives them rights, let’s say it makes nothing safe at all. I have marks on my breast that are permanent, due to their actions, it was a nightmare and it’s taken me a long while to try and get over this. I have been talking on line to Ms. Taz a Dominant woman, and she recently was in WA on vacation from Canada, and she met with my Master, myself and a few others at my home. She distracted me, so that my Master could play with me, and this was the first time anything has happened with any one around. It was hard for my Master, but I love him for working through this with me.

I know she never knew, that she was doing something that would make this big of an impact on my life, but I want her to know and to see all she has done for me. She allowed me to be able to get a part of my life back that I have missed so much. It will take time, but I know now that in time I will make it back to all that I wish to be. I just need to keep working on it. I know it is hard for my Master, but I am sure that he will keep moving slowly and working with me so, I can keep moving ahead. I want to come back out of my hole and to have it all okay. However, trust is not an easy thing to rebuild, even if it is not my Masters fault that I do not have it. I have been told by him, about what had happened, he knew from the start that I will probably never play in public again, but he knows all the reasons and he is helping me learn and grow, each day.

I think it is time, for this one to slowly and safely let go and come back to where I wish to be. I know that my Master would love it, but he shall have it when the time is right, and he is willing to wait. Thank you for waiting and for making things okay, even if you do not get all you are wanting, at this time from me. We have been working to get me close to this point, and we are taking steps to get me the rest of the way.

Non consensual contact can do a big number on someone, so please never touch someone without permission, and Dominants need to watch this very carefully, you never know what you might be doing to someone or what they have gone through. We do not always know when someone has had a problem and we need to be careful. For me it is reliving “three days in the woods”. Trust me that was a nightmare and it is not worth doing over ever again.

My Master will not have seen this before it’s been posted and that is because I do not want him to stop me from this, as I think it’s time and I am ready to try and deal with it.

I need to thank many people in the community’s that I am involved in for their time, love and support. Thank you A/all of you have been a great help to me and my family as well as to my Master. These people are a part of my family and if it was not for them, well I would not be growing and I would not have come this far. Sir Eddie thanks you for your help with this also, I owe you a lot Sir.

Three Days in the Woods:

Well, I had a Master and we where 24/7 and we attended play parties and all of it. It was great and I loved it all. Then one party he allowed two of his friends to use me, it went okay and all was well.

A few days later, my Master was unable to pick me up so he asks his friends to do so and to take me to his office…. I never made it to the office.

Well, they picked me up and told me that my Master was busy I was okay with this since it was not the first time it had happened. We started driving, and I ask where we where going? I was told to just be still and not to say another word. I was getting scared.

We stopped at a light and I tried to get out of the car, I knew that something was wrong. They grabbed me, one came over the seat, holding me down and tying me up, while the other drove on. I was slapped a few times and told that I would mind them or pay for it. Because now I was there’s.

I knew my master would be pissed over this, but I could not get away.

I was then blind folded and it seemed that we drove for on hours. I had no idea where we where going or what would be happening. Then the car stopped and they got out, and then I was dragged out of the car. We walked a ways and then I was pushed into a building. The place smelled badly. I wanted to throw up.

I do not want to go into this into detail, but lets just say I was beaten and made to do things that I knew I should not do. I was burned with all kinds of things and used repeatedly. NONE of this was consensual at all.

I was tied up and left in this little shack and I tried to get out, well they where gone but I could not my whole body hurt and it was no use to get out. They returned and it all started over again and I do not remember much from there on, just little things here and there. I know that I was left in the shack and that I had no clothes and a Sheriff found me lying on the side of the road. I was taken to the hospital, and it was three days since I had been picked up. I was in and out of it for days and I could not tell them a lot. When I wanted to talk with my Master he was arrested and he did not know what happened. He had been told that I was not at the pick up place from his friends. He had no idea where I was. His friends where arrested and it was two years of court and I was glad it was over.

This did not end it for me, I am still here, and I still have to be careful at times. My Master is good about helping me with things, and I am moving forward to the place that I wish to return. I need to do this for myself as well to help others out there. I am needing to push some issues for myself and in time, A/all that are active in the groups that we attend well you will see them and then understand more of what is happening. Everyone else will have to wait for a posted update in the days ahead.

This was step one, and now I must get ready for step two and then three. Thank you all for your time and I will answer any questions that I can, but remember this is never what this lifestyle is about.

awhitecloud®

Please feel free to contact me at awhitecloud@awhitecloud.com i will do what i can to help anyone, and i would like to know what you A/all think also. Thank you for allowing me to share with you A/all.

Unpublished work © 2000 awhitecloud ® Published © 2000 awhitecloud ®

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